[x]

I Said ItThe words flew out,
after years of denial,
repression and prayer.
A warm chill consumed my person,
as much as a contradiction as I feel.
I gasped at what I had done.
Why did I do it?
Why did I tell HIM??
Why am I even asking these questions?
For the first time in years,
I feel good.
Really good!
I want to shout it from the top of this little town
and yet I feel more repressed than ever.
I realize the consequences of my actions,
of my words.
"I'm gay".

RememberingThe worst part is remembering.
Remembering the feel of his shirt,
the sound of his laugh,
the roll of his eyes when Michelle Bachman opens her mouth,
the security of his embrace,
the warmth of his unique love,
the fact that he misses me too.
That's the killer.

I TriedI did my damnedest to forget
about the way he made me feel.
That, uh-holy amalgamation of
sickness and happiness
I had come to call
normal.
I tried so hard,
so hard to get over
that remarkable beauty.
Those compassionate eyes,
that trim physique,
have stayed with me.
Against my will,
I continue
to love him.

Take Your Best ShotGo ahead.
Call me Gay.
Guess what?
I don't care.
Because,
I know I'm happier
than you ever will be.

The World I Want To Live InI want to live in a world where no one has to come out. I want nobody to ever have to go through that emotional and physical torture. I want there to be no reason to come out. Because in this new world, it wouldn't matter! Nobody would care who another person loves, because it's love and none of their business!

I want to live in a world where no one cares. I want apathy, not acceptance. Because, there's no need for acceptance because there's no chance of rejection! There's nothing wrong with it, so rejection and persecution are logically ruled out. I don't want to hear this dialogue ever again "I'm gay." "Good for you!" Good for y

Midnight Ravings of Love and LossI feel nothing.
Literally. Nothing.
I have no reason to go to sleep in the evening,
I have no reason to get up in the morning.
He did this.
He changed me.
He was at the center of the best moment of my young life
and when everything I knew came crashing down, with him to blame
he helped me rebuild.
His soft voice and vulgar humor sustained me.
His eyes, his hair, his body seduced me.
His laugh, his mere existence brought me happiness
I owe him everything.
He changed me.
He was my reason to go to sleep in the evening,
He was the reason to get up in the morning.
He was my world.
He forced me to feel
He made me feel love
feel p

Broken PeopleI see them. I see them every day.
They walk past me, I see their eyes,
cold windows into a troubled soul.
I see them, they try to hide their pain from the world.
Their complacent façade
attempts to cloak their past
Pain and depression
only prolong the suffering.
Scars don't heal scars,
why do they inflict them?
All they need is a friend,
to talk to them,
to listen to them.
I see the broken people
and I do nothing

Because of HimBecause of him, I laugh differently
I never turn off my phone
I curse like a sailor
I listen to new music
I lose sleep
I cry dry tears
I love myself, if only for a moment
I know true pain
I know true bliss
I am different, because of him.

EpiphanyI'm pointlessly sitting in the bitter wind
goosebumps all over
thinking to myself
it would be worth it
if i was keeping him warm.

On Gender Crisis: It gets better.I was born female.
I have all the female pieces.
My life was lived in denial of my emotions; a blur of pain, scars, blood, pill bottles, good times...and the opposite.
When I was younger, it was all too confusing for me to focus.
Sometimes I'd forget to breathe.
Sometimes I'd pass out from the crushing anxiety.
I don't blame my 'confusion' on my upbringing. I was born this way.
I was gay. I love a woman.
I was straight. I love a woman.
The very same woman.
I will always love my Sora. Not for one second of my life will I ever stop breathing…for her. Ever stop thinking…for her. Ever stop creating….for her.
She is w

His CologneThe perfect accessory,
gets me every time.
It seduces my senses,
teasing me perpetually.
A sensation indescribable,
it takes my breath away.
Leaving me with thoughts
of what could be.
It lingers when he leaves
leaving me begging for more
of him.

Third ChildThird child, feels like a mistake.
Parents care more about boxed wine,
than the gold star on the fridge.
Choir concerts, unattended.
Achievements, unrecognized
Try to fill the void with rebellion.
Desperate to hear those coveted words from
anyone.
Lays in a different stranger's apartment every night,
cries in vain,
Needs a daddy.

Her PerfumeShe bites my lip, bites her own
and there's something glorious about her
and the careless, controlled caress of her palms
I kiss the freckles, paled by maturity
beneath her autumn-eyes
and she smiles, oh God, she smiles.

I inhale the heady scent of her throat,
cigarettes and spice and that perfumed mist
she keeps in a vial of absynthe-green
beside the bed.

I wish my skin would melt
so that I could crawl into hers
and feel her pulse more clearly against my soul
I wonder how to explain this to her,
this dark-bright drowning in flames
like rough velvet
but I've lost my reason long ago
Instead, I stutter an incoherancy and she

The SilenceThere is a silence. Even in the most crowded of places, I feel a silence. For the longest time I could not identify its source. Indeed, like every good metaphor, it seems to come from everywhere and nowhere. There are times when I'm distracted and forget to notice it, but it compensates afterward and is louder than before.

There is a silence. I play music, dance, talk loudly, laugh, run, spend time with those closest to me. It persists. I write, read, draw. It grows heavier. Walking around town I cannot shake it, even by dodging across the street, hopping to and fro across the stream, hurrying past angry dogs in their yards. It follows.

The

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 456 bytes more ▶

More from ~suburbancliche

Take Your Best ShotGo ahead.
Call me Gay.
Guess what?
I don't care.
Because,
I know I'm happier
than you ever will be.

Who I am: A LGBT interview.

1. How long have you known you are part of the LGBT community?
    Well... I had had suspicions about it for years, but I only accepted it May of 2011. (18 years old)

2. Was it a struggle (emotionally) for you at the beginning?
    In the years prior, oh ya. I spent many a night praying and hoping that these thoughts would go away. But the second i said it my life changed instantly.

3. How did you start to discover your sexuality? (Example, thoughts, feelings…ex)
    I had always been curious about other guys, but there was one guy that changed it all. He was he first perso

Paradise LostOn cloud nine.
Happy for the first time
ever.
In my bliss,
the wrong words slip out
and the cloud breaks.
I plummet from my rainbow Eden
down to the gray life
I had so readily forgotten.
Perfection is lost forever.

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

#dapride
deviantART Pride

#LGBT-pride
a support group

#LGBT-on-dA
Open arms and open hearts

#Queer-Lit
GLBTQ Literature and Comics

#equalitopia
Analyzing the LGBT Movement

#NoMoreSilenceOnDA

#Emotions-in-art
LoveHateSorrowHappiness.....

#Love-is-from-heart
Be it Gay,Lesbian,Straight or Bi

Show all (23)

Details

Submitted: July 14, 2011
File Size: 456 bytes

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 52
Favourites: 68 [who?]
Views: 879 (0 today)
Downloads: 7 (0 today)

[x]

I Love a Boy

by ~suburbancliche, Jul 14, 2011, 12:07:52 AM
Literature / Poetry / Romantic / General / Free Verse

Every part of me wants him.
Body and Soul
ache for the unattainable.
His soft golden hair whispers
"caress me".
His deep blue eyes implore
"trust me".
I long for his touch.
Being near him, without being with him
is unbearable.
One day
I will roll over and see his smile,
blissfully content as mine.

I Love a Boyby ~suburbancliche

Literature / Poetry / Romantic / General / Free Verse

©2011-2013 ~suburbancliche

It may not be love, but it sure as hell feels like what the movies say it is.

***PLEASE ASK PERMISSION BEFORE DOWNLOADING*****

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~CameronFedora Feb 7, 2012 Student General Artist

This speaks to me... however I am a girl.

Reply

~suburbancliche Feb 7, 2012 Student General Artist

Change the pronoun

Reply

~CameronFedora Feb 8, 2012 Student General Artist

Reply

!musicman216 Dec 10, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

I just want to say that I love this, and I know these feelings myself. I just wish I had a guy that I could feel this way for now. Very emotional and well done. Good job

Reply

~suburbancliche Dec 10, 2011 Student General Artist

Thank you!

Reply

!musicman216 Dec 10, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

You're very welcome

Reply

~Mishka069 Oct 23, 2011

Truer words have never been spoken, I have been with my guy for 17 yrs and it doesn't stop, the love just grows and gets stronger and stronger and yes incase you were wondering he stills smiles at me and I smile back for he lights my world

Reply

~suburbancliche Oct 23, 2011 Student General Artist

So sweet !

Reply

~NuSunt Oct 19, 2011

soft golden hair indeed

Reply

~SHOrTwiRED Aug 14, 2011 Student General Artist

AWWW!

Reply